Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
