She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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