Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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