im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
