She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize