That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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