Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was CRYING into my vagina
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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