Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize