i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
