it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
