I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sober January is a disaster.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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