You just made me feel so damn special
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
