South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize