i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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