those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
