Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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