it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he thought i was a dude.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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