Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
