Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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