Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Found your dick twin last night
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize