I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
