Your mouth is God's brothel.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
