Someone shit on the floor
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
