Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
