yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
