i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
