Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
ok first of all what the fuck
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize