Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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