Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
