hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
