Swine flu. Run for my life!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
