hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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