Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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