I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize