conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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