My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
