I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
