NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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