I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
