I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
