I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
