Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
