Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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