We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize