My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
