You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
