Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
