is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
A bitchslap is in order.
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