first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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