You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
