he told me I talked like a deaf person
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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