I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
