I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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