For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
