i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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