meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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