Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
